in a land far far away

Hey Hazel,

     I've been dating this guy on and off for years,but it never seemed like the right time to be in a committed relationship. However, now that we're both out of college and working professionals we spend a lot of time together and our conversations have been getting pretty serious lately (marriage and kids talk). We're very compatible and when I'm out with other guys I find myself thinking about only him. However, it sucks because his job will soon be relocating him to another state, and potentially out of the country! Just thinking about it depresses me. I told him I think we should take a step back because the future is so uncertain and I'd rather end on a good note then have everything fizzle out because of a long-distance relationship. He says we can make it work. Do you think a long-distance relationships have a chance of survival or do you think I am right to fall back?

Sent from: Shelly, Long Beach, CA

Dear Shelly,

    To be completely honest long-distance relationships are tough. It can seem like little problems are blown out of proportion. I feel that sometimes the distance makes it hard to get closure or resolution after a fight or problem. Maybe its the lack of making up. *sly wink*. Clearly you like this guy and I understand why you want to give it a shot and not give up on him. Plus, the fact that hes willing to make it work speaks volumes. I suggest maybe taking a break and when he moves give him time to adjust then if you find that life is not the same then you can try long distance. There is really no need to rush he seems like a great guy and the fact that hes been around for so many years, makes me confident that if hes single he will be more than willing to try it again whenever your ready.

shine on

Balmain spring 2012 
{SierraChantal}

Fuck. Yes.

*cracks knuckles*

   Hey Hazel!

    What is your opinion of girls paying for dates instead of guys? Is it female empowerment or just proof that chivalry is really dead?

Sent from: Anonymous 

Location: PG County, MD

Dear Anonymous Modern Woman,

     I believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman paying for a meal and or drinks if she wants to. That being said its still a sticky situation. On one side you dont want him to think that he can cash this dinner in for some action, but you also should let a guy feel manly every now and then (especially if it means saving a dime or two of your hard-earned money!).  If its a first date I suggest letting the guy pay for dinner then you can pay for drinks after or offer to buy a bottle of wine for desert. At the very least make an obvious effort. That way he can accept without feeling threatened or decline without feeling used.

     However, if your date is not willing to pay at all then that is a total different story. We live in a society and a time where the majority of women work and make their own way, its understood that we could pay for the meal. To me that's all the more reason why the man should offer. A sort of "were all just tryna make it, lemme buy you a nice dinner" type of thing. Refusal to pay or help pay for a meal is what we in the biz like to call a "red flag". There are of course exceptions, in an established relationship or long term dating situation you should pay for food and or drinks every now and then. Relationships need to be 50/50. First dates do not.

      Despite immense personal evidence to the contrary, I do not believe chivalry is dead. Its out there, but its probably taken or gay.

time to get real

     I know what your asking yourself. What makes this 24 year old random think she can give me advice? Well first of all shut up hater! Second, and I am sorry for that outburst, I am qualified simply because I have seen it all, done a lot, regretted some and remember everything. My expertise is in probably this order:
Sex and Relationships
Style tips
Ballin on a budget
Troublesome friends or co-workers
Family issues
Job seeking
Do not limit yourself to these topics and if there's something I don't know I will find out, or just not post it! Ha!


Please direct all questions and inquiries to advicefromtheblind@gmail.com
When sending questions please include your location and a nom de plume if you don't want your name out there.

come on in, waters fine

Honduras circa 2009

     This is my first ever post, on my first ever foray into the world of internet exhibitionism. I have created this blog with the intention of providing guidance to the confused and frightened masses. I am not at all qualified for this by any institution of learning, but I am quite experienced in dealing with job woes, tragedy, bad relationships, money problems and many more. After years of being told I should start an advice column blog I have decided that indeed I shall. I hope that soon (like later today!) someone will feel comfortable enough to seek my advice. I intent to slip in moments of humor and perspective, with genuine advice. I anticipate I will not be able to resist a little decor and fashion and food posts as my advice for a pleasant life involve all of those. So welcome, close your eyes and let me lead you.